Title: Over The Holidays
Author: Tori Deathangel

Rating: R
Pairing: Margie/Hannibal, Face/Charlene,Murdock/Sandy,Cara/Hannibal
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be, the only thing I own is my mind and even that tends to wander away on me.
Distribution: Take it if you want it

No! Hannibal woke with a start. Sweat pouring off of him. Fear and concern floods him and the stark realization that it was only a nightmare was a minor soothing. The woman in his dreams appeared to him every night and he hated it and yet loved it as well. He knows he's never seen or met her previously, but she was always there late at night in his mind and in his subconscious. It was a good thing that he was an actor now, instead on being on the run with the rest of the guys.

It wasn't surprising that the team split up as they did. So many years on the run can be weary on the soul, even as close knit as they been, it just wasn't enough to keep them together. BA went on to work in one of Chicago's top youth organizations and to be closer to mom. Face went to New Hampshire and sold real estate and Murdock became a chopper pilot for the Rockford police department. Sure they came together during the holidays and such, but it wasn't the same.

*****

“It's my turn.”

“Whatcha talking bout fool, I ain't eating any of your cooking.”

“Two things, you angry mud sucker. One. I am not crazy, insane, around the bend, visiting the funny farm or anything else for that matter, besides that they don't let unbalanced people fly choppers for the police department. And Two, Thanksgiving has been at Hannibal's, Facey, yours, I just want a turn. C'mon please, please, please, please, please, please…”

“SHUTUP! You still a crazy fool. We'll see what Hannibal and Face says bout it.”

“Already did.” Murdock smiled into the phone he loved to be one step ahead of BA, on the other side an angry man with a mohawk grimaced into the phone.

Murdock finished his conversation with B.A. and turned to his roommate, Cara, who was plugging away at the game console.

“Well it's all set for Turkey day.” She looked at him for a second; she was uncomfortable with the whole thing. Thanksgiving is a holiday for families, hers is long dead and now the closest she has to a family is him and Sandy who is her best friend but Murdock's girlfriend. B.A., she knew and she has talked to Face on the phone a few times, but found him, eehhh, charming, maybe too charming. Murdock told her that Peck was the con man of the outfit, which would explain the uneasy feelings. Being a con man means lies, cheating and stealing, none of which she approved of, but knew because of the delicate position the team had been put in place that it was necessary. Hannibal, she didn't know what to make of. He always kept short sweet and to the point. More like ‘Hi, How are you? Is Murdock there?' Face at least seemed interested in talking to her, but this guy, she didn't know at all. It's the unknown that pisses her off, friend or foe. There was always this desire to know where she stood with people. Murdock insisted that he really is a great guy, though it still didn't put her mind at ease.

“I know you're not comfortable around people you don't know, but give them a chance. C'mon give me a hand shopping?” Murdock had whined for weeks about wanting to hold it there and finally she relented in a moment of fatigue just to get him to shut up and now she was in it.

Shutting down the game, she grabbed out her keys and crossed the room to retrieve her jacket.

“Well you coming?” mind as well get this over with.

With a holler he grabbed his coat and ran out the door grabbing at the passenger door and yanking it opening, flopping into the Green 4 door Blazer just like an excited kid.

Cara had to smile at it. Life would be boring if he didn't act off the wall at times and well if he's around it defiantly wasn't boring. They arrived at the supermarket and grabbed a cart. Murdock perused the fruits section, making a huge selection, tossing the items at his partner and she loaded them into the cart. He stopped to look at the birds conversing with them and making them talk back.

“Aren't you a pretty bird?"

Talking as the bird, “Why yes I am and look I have my own timers and I can feed you're your friends.” Murdock danced/walked it from the freezer making it hop over the space in between the cart and it previous resting place and into the cart making a gobble gobble noise like a turkey as it landed. They continued on like that till all the grocery shopping was done. Stopping at the Party store, they picked up some decorations making sure that at every animated toy they ran across they activated them all just to annoy. There was dancing, squawking, talking and singing coming from turkeys and cats, ghosts, witches and other sort since they were left over from Halloween. The manager at the very least was not happy at these two customers. They finished their shopping stopping long enough to grab a fruit smoothie as a treat and heading towards the house.

Thanksgiving morning

Cara woke to clattering and banging coming from what sounded the kitchen, she looked at the clock next to her bed 5:25 am. She just came off a double shift and in bad shape, sleep was a requirement, it was really busy the night before and a few other cops didn't show up for duty. Five DUI's, four home break-ins, two hold ups, six domestics and a countless other offenses that made her wonder if the world didn't collapse on top of itself and it wasn't her beat either, numerous other beats had homicides and suicides, that made her glad she had easier stuff, the paperwork can be a bitch. She rolled to her side farther away from the noise and piled a pillow on top of her head to block the noise, but it was no use. There it was again, more noise to wake the dead or in this case the almost dead, and giggling. Fuck! He managed to convince his girlfriend to get up earlier to help with the cooking since he couldn't get Cara to do so, though to ask her that after two shifts would be out of the question. She pulled the blanket off and got ready for the day, it wouldn't be the first and last time surviving on coffee, maybe there might even be a chance to pass out at some point. She started the shower and got in, enjoying the warmth on a hot shower. Thoughts of coffee invaded her mind and also of sitting and relaxing.

‘5 fucking 30 in the fucking morning, how many people did Murdock fool when he was finally released as sane? Who the hell gets up this early if they don't have to go to work??? '

Cara walked into the kitchen and all activity had stopped. It was quiet. Damn quiet. They waited for all hell to break out because the two woke her up. When she got her sip of coffee, she looked up warily and growled.

“Hey sorry, we forgot the walls aren't that thick.”

Once again a growl.

“Sweetie we're out of eggs.”

“Out of eggs?? How can we be out of eggs??”

Cara got up from her seat. Shopping for eggs was preferable to listening to them squawk on about it, “I'll go to the store and get the eggs.”

“No you don't have to, you're tired and…”

“I SAID I'LL GET THE EGGS” God she was tired and cranky, it was definitely a call for stronger coffee.

Chicago

“Bosco. You get up right now, we'll be late.” Momma Baracus pounded on B.A's door only to be met by her tired son.

“Momma,” giving her a kiss, “its only 6:30. It takes 2 and a half hours to get down by Murdock, I promise we won't be late.”

“You know the old adage, son. Early bird getting the worm.” She reminded him, “What if there is a horrible accident on the way or the car breaks down. You know these things happen.”

B.A. rolled his eyes. Momma always had to be early. It's the same routine every morning, she rouses him up even though he doesn't start his job till afternoon, but that's his momma and he loved her dearly.

Indiana on Interstate 80 between Lake Station and Portage

“Temp is it much further?”

Face had been driving straight from Ohio, a halfway stop from New Hampshire, it wouldn't be at least another 3 or 4 hours before he reached his destination, provided the Skyway wasn't screwed up as usual. “A few more hours.” Adding in a sigh. His wife Charlene can drain him at times. She became more fidgety and more anxious since she found out they were expecting. Second month along and her emotions were already kicking into full swing. He looked at her briefly to see that she was engrossed in the baby names book.

“Names?”

Charlene looked up, “hmm,” not quite there it seemed that she was concentrating on something.

“Lene, Baby,” he grabbed her hand and it was as though a connecting switch had been thrown and she responded to him.

“Oh sorry, I ran across a name and it reminded about someone I haven't thought of in a long while. A dear Aunt who lived down from our house who was there more often then mom.” Not that her mom was a bad one, just that she had to work an awful lot just to support the family since her dad ran off. “She used to read Green Eggs and Ham to death, because I just adored it. She made these little shapes in cookies with those rainbow sprinkles just special for me.” A slight tear trailed down her cheek as she remembered coming home from playing and finding her lifeless body on the kitchen floor with said cookies surrounding her.

“What was her name?”

“Cynthia.”

He squeezed her hand again, “If it's a girl lets call her that.”

She looked up and tears spilled over. It would be a nice way to honor her aunt.

Rockford

Listening to Murdock and Sandy for the last hour and a half was no easy chore. Cara was by no means a morning person let alone early morning, hell anything before 11am was too early in her book. Even taking her time driving to the convenience store, meandering around there, and then driving back had only given her 45 minutes of peace. Now she was more or less awake but still, it was only 8am. Eight fricking in the morning. What did people do so early? She had never been up this early in the past few months without having to go to work, so what is it that people did that early to pass the time away? She had cleaned her guns the night before; she had to do something else she would just have to kill the two lovebirds.

Murdock told everyone to come early so everyone could catch up on old times. Cara loved to hear the stories, however what could she offer? Her life wasn't adventurous; she was a patrol officer, nothing else. Odd girl out an intruder in their midst, at least Sandy had the tie of being Murdock's girlfriend; Cara was just a coworker and a friend. The more time went by, the more she was dreading the rest of his friends stopping by. The only one she was sure of was B.A.. She didn't want to invade their privacy and mentally she made notes of retreat should she need it. Truck, bathroom, basement and defiantly bedroom.

“Hey Cara,”

“Yeah?” she didn't even bother to look behind.

“I'm going to pick up Hannibal at the airport, mind giving Sandy a hand?”

There's the name again Hannibal. John ‘Hannibal' Smith. The unknown factor. One of two reasons of unease, more him then Peck though. Hannibal - Friend? Or Hannibal - Foe?

“Yeah, Yeah.” She got up from the couch to oversee what's been happening with the dinner. Dinner, pbbttt, its barely morning and here the fuss is dinner.

In a hold pattern above Rockford

The woman from his dreams filled Hannibal's mind again, this time beckoning him closer, welcoming him. He adjusted his watch, looked around him, anything to keep thinking about her. I miss my gloves. His hands looked naked, where there once was black leather, now there was nothing. A change. No longer a leader of men, but a mere actor. His gloves kept him safe and comfortable. The leather shielding him from the elements and now he was exposed to a multitude of things. Things do change. Meeting up with the guys every now and again is always a nice thing to do. The one thought nagging on him was that Cara woman. Long time ago he would have her go through Mr. Lee and the hot dog vendor, do an extensive search on her, but something about her, just seemed off. He accepted Sandy more then Murdock's coworker/friend.

“Northwest flight 3412 will be beginning its decent in for landing, please place all tray tables in their upright position…”

In a little short of an hour he'd be able to size her up for himself.

At Turkey Central

“Lt. Tail feathers, has gotten himself captured, killed and he's about to be basted, Sir.”

You don't get to be an old tough bird by getting caught. He lost many of his unit to this holiday. If only were they penned up in a machine shop would they have had a chance to get all away. They could have built some elaborate machine and have all the parts conveniently laying around and all usable to defeat their captors, but no they were in an open field with no means of escape except clawing and pecking your way out. No next holiday it will be different cause he had a plan.

Cara's house

B.A. had arrived and his mom and now Cara's thoughts from earlier had diminished. Mrs. Baracus had brought some cookies which we're being swiped by her son and Cara and getting their knuckles cracked when they managed to get caught. They helped to make more cookies and other pastries. The doorbell rang again and B.A. grabbed it since everybody else had his or her hands full with something.

“Face!” The two comrades exchanged hugs and introductions to his wife.

They were lead inside and introductions were made again and Cara didn't feel so odd now and why should she. There was Mrs. Baracus, B.A., Sandy, Murdock and Charlene. Oh and Face as well, but she still was trying to figure him out. Charlene was sweet and shy initially and then started on this and that. The whole house was quite lively and had quite the atmosphere. The girls were off on one side of the kitchen island continuing on with the baking and preparing and the guys interjected and vice versa. They teased B.A. about the fact that he still don't have a girlfriend, then they teased Cara about her lack of boyfriend and so on.

“Hello all.” Murdock returned with his leader in tow. Heads popped up to see the returning comrades.

Not her. Fuck. Anyone but her. The girl from his dreams. It didn't make sense, they had never met and yet here she was, bam, real as day. He cautiously shook her hand upon introduction, that action being noticed by all. It wasn't a casual greeting, but wary, unlike when he shook the hands of Sandy and Charlene. Murdock casually pulled her to the side.

“What did you do to him?”

“What do you mean ‘What did you do to him?' You brought him here he hasn't been here for more then five seconds and treats me like ice and I'm supposed to guess what's going on?”

“Well the last time you answered the phone what did you say?”

Cara stood there dumbfounded, was he implying that she had been some way affecting Hannibal's behavior that she had said something wrong previously on a call from before. Calm down girl. This is Murdock you're talking to; he's not accusing you of anything, just trying to figure out what's going on.

“Murdock, I didn't say anything I don't normally answer every time he calls her. Its always ‘Hi', ‘How are you' and ‘just a minute' . We don't talk, so your guess is as good as mine.” Murdock went back to the rest of the group and Cara had to leave out for a bit. The people with the exception of Smith were all friendly, but so many people in one house was overwhelming, not to mention the reception from Smith bugged her a lot. She grabbed her coat and left.

“Hey fool, she ok?”

“Yeah, she gets this way when there's way too much going on, she'll be back in an hour or so.” It was after that the guys settled their eyes on their leader.

“What?” he shrugged and reached for his cigar.

B.A. stood fast, “You're not going to smoke that thing in here.”

“Why not?” he lit it anyways and B.A. grabbed the offending object and sent it down the garbage disposal.

“That's why. There's no smoking in this house.” He was toe to toe with the Colonel “You got a problem with that?”

Face tugged at the guys to follow away from the range on the girls, his guess was that the others saw the same exchange with Hannibal and Cara as he did and before this blows way out of proportion it was just best to get it out now.

“What's the deal between you two?”

“You know B.A. always had an attitude.” Baracus scowled at Smith's nonchalance.

“No, I mean Cara.”

Hannibal's face fell, how could he tell the guys that he dreamed about this woman without sounding as crazy as Murdock used to. How he hates having his privacy violated by the woman even if his subconscious is at the wheel. So he fed them crap instead.

“Long flight, guess I was a little cranky.” The guys knew him well enough to know it was a bunch of bullshit, but if that's the line he's going to give them, then they would go with it, at least till the next time he steps out of line. “I'll apologize to her when she gets back.”

Back at the convenience store.

So that's Smith the great Hannibal Smith. The champion of the people. The Zombies approached closer on the screen and she dispatched them, though using a life as she got clawed. What's so damned great about him? She sighed. He cares for people. Seemed charming to the others. Not bad looking and those eyes… damn those eyes. It's like staring at a wolf. So why does he hate me. Don't get it. I had been nice enough. Well you have heard that he liked his women young, preferably blonde. Face it; you're not his type. With the last life depleted she placed the gun back in the holster. Going back wasn't an option she enjoyed, hell being called up for a shift would have been preferable to this get together, though not all of it was bad.

“You must stop loitering in my business.”

She rolled her eyes and positioned her hands on her hips, “Omar, I thought you liked having cops in here.”

He looked at her more carefully, “Officer Fale, I not recognize you with your clothes.”

“HUH??!!”

“You not dressed like police.”

Whew!

Hannibal stood out front smoking on a fresh cigar and not the one that got mutilated in the disposal. The guys were right, he did act out of hand in dealing with her. It was a pure coincidence. He saw the truck approaching and got ready.

Fuck! There he stood by the driveway. Well screw it if he can't be civil neither can I. She was tired though fighting was not her idea of moving forward, but she didn't know what else was there. Someone gives you a tude you always plowed them over was how she reacted, but she was tired of it, time for a different tact.

She got out of the truck and headed for the door, coming to an abrupt stop when her arm was caught, she whirled around, she wanted to deck him for bringing out these feelings in her and for being such an ass. It was those eyes that saved him from a bruising. This time she tugged slightly hoping he would just release her, save them from this point.

“We got off on the wrong foot.” An apology, or at least close enough to one. The eyes again, they speak for themselves, cooling down her once fiery anger. While inside a set of eyes stare at the exchange, giving a thumbs up to the others. B.A. moved away from the sill and rejoined Face who had been charming the ladies from a previous procurement story. That's Face for you, always the ladies man, even if he is a married man. He liked Charlene and hoped Peck wouldn't screw this up. He's been through so many women, the same as Hannibal, but it's hard to have a relationship on the run, and so they never formed lasting ties especially when they would end up being broken.

Following dinner, everyone gathered down and listened to various stories, everyone seemed to get along. B.A. and his mom were the first to go. Face and Charlene followed after them to go to the hotel they reserved before they lost it for the night. He had to get a good night's rest before heading home and somehow Murdock and Cara convinced Hannibal to take up the futon since he forgot about his accommodations. It was only 2 nights on that thing it wouldn't be that bad for him.

With the holiday firmly over with and everyone either home or on their way, Murdock pretty much was going to burst.

“SO?”

She looked him all weird like, “So what?”

“Well?”

Talking to Murdock was like piecing together a puzzle.

“I saw you two hitting it off.”

Oh. “Yeah.”

“You got up early.” She glanced at him, “Before 8am.” That earned him a scowl. She hated being needled.

“Ok, yeah, so?”

“So?” he looked incredulously “So? The woman says so, arggghh. Anything vibey?”

She shook her head and smiled, “He's nice.”

“And?”

“You're not letting me out of this gracefully are you?”

He grinned like a Cheshire cat, “Nope.”

“Fuck. You're evil.” It was defiantly clear that he was not moving from there and neither was she till she spilled it all. “I wouldn't mind seeing him again with a lot less people around.”

“See? I said you'd like him and you do. So lets have Christmas here as well?”

It was barely The Christmas season officially now and now he wants to do another holiday.

“Fine, but I get to cook this time, I want to be the one waking you up extra early.”

“Face it you just want to do it all to show how domesticated you are.”

Murdock was going to pay for that sexist remark. She got up and chased after him.

HOLY NIGHT DEADLY NIGHT

The last two weeks with Margie had been exceptional enough to make him feel at least ten years younger. A twenty six year old brunette who was dying to please him. She had helped him forget all about the woman in Rockford. To be completely honest, what could he offer her? He was older by almost twenty years. He had been a fugitive for so long that it would just look bad being seen with him in her career. There was nothing he could offer to her, it just wouldn't be right. All he could do is move on and yet the woman in his dreams came to him now more so and always so erotic. Here they were waiting for Murdock to pick them up, only He didn't know that the Colonel was bringing someone with.

Murdock walked up with a smile on his face and greeted Hannibal and was introduced to Margie. His smiled faltered slightly but was able to recover it before either could notice. He was regretting going back now. Cara had busted her ass to have a good holiday dinner prepared and decorations set up. She really wanted to impress Hannibal and now the poor thing… its heart wrenching thinking about it. The drive there was quiet, the two were in back and she was giggling and suddenly he understood how Cara felt when Sandy and him were at this, mental note at that point never to do that to her again.

The rest of the gang were there already waiting hitting the eggnog and having fun. Cara had butterflies, she knew he said no promises, but it wasn't exactly a no either, besides what are the odds that he would find someone before Christmas. She looked out the window. Pretty High. Should of known better . They came through the door and introductions done again for Margie's benefit. Cara went back into the kitchen to check on the bird and compose herself. Well it's not like he said he'd be faithful. If he's happy who am I to begrudge it. Why couldn't he be happy with me though? She let out a sigh and basted away. She nearly crawled out of her skin when she saw John standing right there when she closed the door.

“Hey.”

“She's great.”

“You hate her.”

“No. I don't know her well enough for that yet. You said no promises, I understand. I'm happy for you. Really.” She was trying to convince herself more then he that it was ok.

“I hope you don't mind me saying this, but Christmas with the guys is a family thing…”

“And I'm an outsider, got it. Someone should baste this every fifteen minutes or else it'll dry out.” She handed him the baster and left not even stopping for her coat.

Everyone became mystified by exit; they were getting along so well at Thanksgiving, unless after the bulk of them left they got a little closer. The only one who knew was Murdock. He didn't like this at all.

Turkey Central

“Turkeys don't fly you fool.”

Gobbles stared back at the big pile of feathers, “But if they did we could get out of here right?” he waited for an answer, “Hey Baste, why don't you scam us up a whirly gig.”

“A whirly whoisit?”

“You know,” he extended his arms out and made an engine noise as he pretended to fly around the room.

“I ain't flying in no plane!”

The old bird came up from behind, all right if you don't want to go you don't have to, but maybe you should have some of this feed before we end up in someone's pot, since this is the last you'll see of it.”

“OK.” He dumbly pecked at the seed lying about and keeled over from the sedative inside.

“Ha-ha, I love it when a plan comes together. Now, Baste get us that plane or our bird is cooked.”

“Ohhhh Colonel. That was a bad one.”

Elsewhere

That stupid song keeps running through my head.

I really thought we had a chance. God I am such a sucker. Falling for a guy, when he's so not clearly interested in me. Here I sit in a bloody rest stop, crying over him. I really thought we had a thing, a connection. Hello, he kicked me out of my own house, what the fuck?? Well screw it; I don't want to go back to all those twinkling lights and pretty packages. I let myself get wrapped in shit I didn't want to be in the first place. That's going to change.

She started the car up to head across the Cheddar Curtain and maybe find a decent bar where she can at least get some frustration out in, hopefully one where there's a motel within walking distance.

At the Party

Everyone had been more or less quiet, they didn't know what to say or what that was all about, but its going on the third hour and Cara still hasn't returned.

“Sweetie can I talk to you.” Murdock and Sandy secluded themselves off in his room so as not to be overheard.

“What is going on? I thought Hannibal and Cara were going along famously at Thanksgiving?”

Murdock didn't know what to say, he saw the same thing as his lady. He also knew that Cara talked more to Sandy about what happened since they were friends long before he came around. He held his girlfriend, there wasn't anything they could do really, and it wasn't as if Hannibal and Cara had been together for a while. Hell he didn't even know where she was. Hannibal had no right to kick her out of her own home.

Hannibal knocked on the door, “hey guys, dinner.”

“What do you say?”

“I wish Cara was here too.”

“Yeah, but she'd want us to carry on anyway so lets do that.”

Hannibal had been thinking about Cara's reaction to him, calm but fueled by a leashed anger. The eyes that once held merriment in them, were closed off. She was beautifully dressed, maybe for my benefit? He felt like a heel, she must have thought there was something between them when there isn't. After all he had Margie now, so then why is it that she still haunts your dreams.

On the road

She pulled up to a road jam and noticed about 500 ft that cars were diverging off in different directions to go around something, a truck parked in the middle of the lane and no state police vehicles on scene yet, as she made around it, she noticed that the truck was on top of a caravan. There was no way she could pass by now. Always a cop even when you are off duty. She pulled off and contacted state patrol via her cell as she walked the highway back to the accident scene. What she saw inside the van made her wretch, the kids that were in the back had no hope, but yet she reached to take the pulse on the tiny hand closest to her. Nothing. She started to shake, this had been the most violent thing she's seen happen. The woman in the front seat started slowly moving.

“Ma'am, Ma'am, I need you to lie still.”

“My babies,” the woman was also a mess the roof had caved in and created lacerations on her head perhaps worse then that. She didn't know what to tell the mother, she knew for a fact that one was defiantly gone. The woman tried to twist around to see to her kids.

“Ma'am, please lie still.”

“But Larry and Sam, I need to check on them.”

“Miss, you are going to have to stay still, you may be suffering from major injuries. I'm a an off duty officer, I'll check on the rest of your family, but have to promise to stay very still.”

“Please.” She said with a slight nod.

Cara whipped out her cell to call the state police again and to find out for a fact that ambulances were on the way and to bring a fire truck to pry the bodies out and also to get an eta on their arrival. She didn't want to be the one who told the woman that her kids are dead. She checked the driver, no pulse. There was way of getting to the back where the other kid was, with out opening the door and climbing over the body to check. That's when help arrived. She stopped what she was doing to confront the ambulance and State Police to tell them that the woman doesn't know about the situation with the rest of her family.

Cara assisted the units there and found out the driver fell asleep behind the wheel of the semi. Out of a van of four in turns out that the woman was the only to still be alive. Suddenly her problems didn't size up considering all that this woman has just lost. She stayed at the site with the responding patrol unit to discuss the situation and to continue lending assistance, it wasn't until the pulled the wreck off and cleaned the area that she felt that she could move again. It was horrifying and yet a real aspect to the career she chose. Now She just feels wants to feel numb.

Cara came in through the front door and everybody was so welcoming, all she could afford was a slight smile and pushed her way to the basement door. Murdock followed right behind.

“Hey Chica.” He noticed her pull out a bottle and pour herself a drink, he decided to push on. “You don't have to drink over him.”

She crossed the room and sat on the sofa facing him. Quietly she spoke, “I'm not.” She downed her drink and wished that she didn't leave the bottle way over there. Murdock wasn't really a drinker, but then neither was she, so whatever got her shook up, rattled her good. He pulled out another glass and grabbed the bottle to head over to her. He poured her another drink. “Thanks.” He sat down and poured some for himself, but didn't drink from it. He waited patiently for her. “There was an accident.” She rubbed her thumbs on the front of the glass almost making an attempt to smooth the edges permanently created when the glass was made. “Children were involved.” She took another drink, “Only the mother survived. Somehow this rig ended up on top on their van, their little bodies inside were crushed… they… they,” she started crying. The accident taking its toll on her and Murdock held her, tried to soothe her till she was done. When she fell asleep he laid her gently down on the soft leather and grabbed the throw and tossed it on her. Right now she needed sleep and later she'll need a friend.

He headed back upstairs to rejoin the rest of his friends.

“Well Captain?”

“She saw a really bad accident, I'm assuming by her description that she assisted in it and she's feeling really distraught right now.” It was up to him to get the ball rolling on track again, she didn't need to dwell on it and she wouldn't want the others to know much about it either so that meant forward and periodic absences to check on her.

Months later.

“Hannibal called again.”

“Yeah so?” she shouted back at him from her room as she fixed her pack.

“He keeps asking about you.” He appeared at her doorframe.

She looked back at him. “Oh, isn't that nice.” She continued fitting her gear in the bag.

“Why won't you at least talk to him?”

She zipped up the bag and slung it over her shoulder, “Cause I don't care. Got it? And if you don't, then realize right now. I'm not putting myself through this again. He can go to hell. I've better things to do.” She pushed past him.

“Yeah right like getting involved with SWAT, living on the edge, that's your idea of better.” He was shouting, when did he start shouting? Oh right, when Cara started shutting everyone out. It's been tense. He knew she didn't want to be hurt and she was still upset from the accident from Christmas. She stared at death now and laughs at it. She takes a lot of risks, been shot twice already and keeps going. Been drowning in a liquor river with the rest of her unit. They also liked the edge; this group was bad for her. She never did anything like this before and if something doesn't happen soon. She'll be gone. Not just the possibility of death, but also who she really was. Maybe it's time to have a talk with someone and hopefully pull a rabbit out of his hat.

Cara knew she was wrong, but she needed her wall and the eyes of the white haired one still haunted her.

There was no risk that I wouldn't take
And not a promise that I didn't make
All I asked was that you just hold on
And now I'm wondering what I did wrong

This was insane. He should be gone from her mind. A mere day was not a lifetime. He wasn't interested so she needed to move on right?

I gave you all of my body and soul
Never believing we might lose control
I took my hands off the wheel

When did he have so much control of her thoughts? Damn, him! I threw myself into this life.

I can't remember if the lies were true
It's been a million years since I touched you
I thought time might help me win this game
But being away from you is slowly driving me insane

Screw that and them, change is good, right?

Flight in hold pattern above Rockford.

Murdock said it was important that he come out and stay for a while. He broke up with Margie after Christmas. In the long run he was fooling himself that he didn't care about Cara. The dreams came more frequently now more then ever and they've taken on a new twist. A maniacal smile on her lips, a squeeze of the trigger and dead bodies, hundreds. All spread out over the landscape. Then a twist and her last kill is that of herself, her murderer, she turns into a mist and is blown away on the wind. He had heard how she had been the last few months and figured she had something to prove, but now its getting worse. Celebrating the kills, making off that getting shot is no big deal. He did some checking on the others in her unit, all of them bloodthirsty in one form or another, some from the military. It worried him dearly that she may have a death wish. He made the mistake of pushing her away, now if he wants do something to save her before its too late. She was really nice when he first met her, from Murdock's description he would swear these are two different individuals. He already had a plan too, just like old times.

Murdock was waiting for him as usual, he also looked quite haggard. He imagined that Cara's activities had taken a toll on himself as well.

“Hey Hannibal.”

“Captain.” He pushed his bag into the back and climbed into his car. There was a thousand and one questions rattling through his head, but he thought it best to wait till they were at his home and can gain complete attention. It wasn't till they got there and he checked to make sure she wasn't around till he spoke.

"I want to know everything, from the point of when she came home after the accident to now. Everything Murdock. Don't leave anything out." H.M. nodded towards the couch and they sat for a while discussing everything. The horrible graphics of the accident. How she felt about Smith. Her loss of self, her constant anger, the cavalier attitude. Her new position and how he keeps pushing Murdock away, trying to make him hate her. Smith was interested in her new playmates, they've been written up several times and have beaten the wrap in several instances, these people were no good. He had to get through to her. He'd stay no matter how long it took. He took the futon in the office at least in there he was close to information at anytime of the night and he wouldn't have to let her know he was here till he wanted to let her know. It'll be hard to do and it'd be a challenge keeping her unawares.

She was tumbling things over and over in her mind, the guys made some off handed comments and now the meaning slap around in her head. Entering into the house she smelled something different, but yet familiar and still it didn't belong here. She pulled the safety off her backup gun and tried to follow the scent. The door was partially ajar, which meant she didn't have to replace the door when she kicked it open. Her jaw dropped when she saw who was sitting there. SMITH!

"Hiya Kid." he sat smugly on the futon, he hadn't counted on being caught so fast, "So what tipped you off?"

Cara fought back every urge to gun the smug bastard right here right now, however that'd leave a mess, perhaps a good pummeling would be enough. She debated her options and then she slowly placed the safety back on her gun. Inside a war raged on. Hurt him. Love him. Over and over. The anger reaching true heights as it chose what it wanted. "What the Fuck are you doing here?"

Hannibal bit back several smart-ass comments, as he knew she was teetering on the edge from what he found out earlier. Cara didn't even expect him to say what he did, "I missed you."

Missed? "Who the fuck did you miss Smith? I know it wasn't me. Hell I found that out when you brought that tramp Marcy over."

"Margie"

"Whoever! You kicked me out of my own place and I let you! You know I did this to myself. We talked for a day and I clung to you like a sea urchin, that was my fault. I believed in you. Wanted you. Wanted you to want me. Stupid."

He felt guilty for that, he wanted to tell her that he wanted her too, but should he? She's so angry would she listen? He's never exposed himself like that before, could he do it for her? He got up and cupped her cheek, "Not stupid." She slapped him, "Keep away from me." She seethed, "Why don't go back to your little plaything and leave me alone." Tears. He saw them, its a reaction from her that he was sure she didn't expect or want, so she threw the barriers back up. The I-don't-need-anyone walls. He'll have to try another again tomorrow later in the day, but in the morning he had some work to do.

She slammed her door to her room with a mighty thrust. Mother fucking cocksucker! How dare he traipse back in here? Fuck him. I can do better. Another voice also spoke; Give him a chance, he's here right? She so desperately wanted him to hold her right now and chase all the demons away. Truth was she needed to make some real choices; she couldn't go on living in anger. Tonight was going to be a sleepless one.

Hannibal tossed about, all those erotic dreams from nights past combined with being under the same roof and the need to just hold her and tell her he's there, played on him. God, he was hard as hell. So painfully hard, somewhere deep inside he had already made the decision that only she can be the one. He wouldn't allow himself to touch another or bring release to himself. The dreams got even worse when he made that decision. She was sucking at his cock, he was sheathed deep inside her, her on top of him, fucking and making love. He physically shook his head; those kinds of thoughts were very unproductive right now. He ran trough in his mind how to strip down an AK-47 clean it and reassemble it. Then he tried recalling the soldiers field survival handbook, anything to keep from thinking about her, he needed to be together for tomorrow.

Cara walked to the room that John had spent the night in and noticed it was empty, she didn't know if she should feel relieved or sad. Murdock had been up for awhile, so she joined him. He said nothing to her. Who can blame him really, for a long while every time they spoke all she did was abuse him. She poured some coffee and joined him at the table.

"Hey." Nothing, except a look. Sorry. I'm sorry. I apologize, how the hell can this be hard. "I see Hannibal is here." no answer. Fuck. Tell him you bloody idiot! "I made a decision." Still nothing. "I'm leaving SWAT." A look and now a smile.

"You are?"

One obstacle down. "Yeah, I ... I shit, was trying to fit in somewhere I didn't. I'm not like them. I... Oh shit Murdock, I've been a right bitch."

"With a capitol B."

She smiled at him, "Not giving me any leeway are you."

"Nope." The playful banter was back

"I'm so sorr..."

He grabbed her hand, "Never mind that, tell me about the whole decision thing." It felt nice, being able to talk to him again.

"Lots of little things, Truth is every time I pull that trigger I keep thinking about those kids from the accident. Their dead bodies and when I pull the trigger there's another dead body. That's not how I want to live. Killing people, being called upon to do only that. I think its time to let the demons go."

"Way to go Chica, I knew you'd eventually figure it out. Um, you're not mad about Hannibal?"

"Let me guess, you called him out here?"

"Yes, but he also didn't know what's been happening so I got quite the ass chewing for not telling him sooner."

"I'll bet." She smiled into her coffee and took a sip.

"So what are you going to do in the way of him?"

The phone rang and she reached over for the handset, "Dunno haven't gotten that far yet." She pushed talk, "Hello."

"Fale, glad your home." she rolled her eyes, work.

"What's up Chief?"

"We got a situation at the bank on Green. Hostage."

"You want him taken out."

"No not necessarily, we're unsure how many individuals are involved."

"Then you need SWAT."

"No. I need a negotiator. Fale, my daughter is in there." SHIT! "Before you go spouting off your not a negotiator, I've seen you in action before you joined that hooligan group. You're my best shot of getting her out alive." she sighed into the phone. No pressures. "They got autos, gear up, but don't take hostile action if it can be avoided. The ranking officer will brief you more when you get there."

So much at stake. "You can count on me." She hung up the phone and Murdock was already moving to the door.

"I'll give you aerial."

"K." She looked worried.

"You'll do fine."

"Why don't I believe that?" She checked her primary pistol and her backup, "Lets go. I'll meet you there. Be careful."

"You do the same."

Murdock shows up at headquarters and bumps into the Colonel.

"Hey what's the fuss?"

"Hostage sitch, Cara is on scene talking to them."

Talking to them? Fuck and no snipers to back her up. "I'll come with."

They passed the break room where the TV was playing out the events from the bank.

"Once again, an officer shot down as she tried to talk to the terrorists inside the bank in the mall behind me. We have word now that it is indeed a lone gunman with automatic weapons, who is currently holding three hostages and has kept police at bay from getting help to the downed officer."

"Cara."

"Lets go Murdock." Fortunately no one saw him take a civilian on to the chopper as he started it up and took off in the direction on the hostilities. They flew over the area and saw the situation for themselves. The hostage taker was outside pointing a gun to woman's temple. Hannibal got out on the skid and signaled to Murdock for another pass, as they got closer to the bank, he waved him lower, when he was close enough he dropped off on to the roof and rolled. Murdock flew out in front of the maniac to give him a larger target to shoot at besides anyone else. This gave enough time for Smith to jump down on the assailant and scatter his weapon from him. They exchanged blows, but it was the one Smith dealt to his neck that stopped him enough for him to take him down completely.

The girl wrapped her arms around her hero, he didn't argue for the moment, as long as she goes in the direction that Cara was in he didn't care. One of the patrolmen took her from him and he saw Cara loaded into the back of an ambulance. He had to be there with her. He raced back to the chopper and communicated he needed to get to the hospital.

On the news it was reported that a Pardoned fugitive Colonel John Hannibal Smith of the infamous A-team had managed to put an end to the situation and that all hostages were shaken, but in good physical health.

Murdock landed the bird briefly to let him off. He had to get the chopper back to the helipad at headquarters.

Hours passed by all the guys, all of them showed up at the hospital, B.A. made breakneck speed getting up there and Face took the first flight up. The doctor finally came out to talk to them. Hannibal immediately got up. "Doc, How is she?"

The doctor was frightenly quiet and for the briefest of moments it was almost thought she didn't pull through, "She's stable now, she lost quite a lot of blood and it was touch and go for a little bit, but she's got a strong constitution."

"Can I see her?" A plead from their C.O.

The Doc mulled it over and was about to say no, but he saw the anguish in the older gentleman's eyes, "Just for a little bit. She needs to rest and regain her strength."

Smith extended out a hand, "Thanks Doc, for everything." The proffered hand was accepted and Hannibal went to see her. He initially went to the recovery room, but discovered that they had already arranged a room for her upstairs. A few questions later and another few twists and turns he found her. She looked so pale and lifeless; if it weren't for the beeping of the heart monitor he'd swear that she was gone. He moved to her bedside and took her hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb. Her eyes opening to about slits.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself, didn't mean to wake you." It was nice to hear her voice.

"Bad guy down?"

"Yeah."

"No one else hurt?"

He pushed an arrant piece of hair from her eyes, "No baby, no one else hurt, but that asshole." she half smiled as much as one could when they are doped up on so many pain killers and sedative.

"Good."

He noticed her eyes starting to close, "Just get better, we've got a lot to talk about, a lot dealing with you and I, you got that?

"You and I, got it. hmmm" he was losing her fast to much needed sleep. He leaned down and placed a slight kiss upon her lips. There will be plenty of time when she recovers to talk about everything.

Another sleepless night I can't explain
Somebody said they heard me call your name
The radio won't let you leave my mind
I know it's over but I don't know why

Should've known better
Than to fall in love with you
Now love is just a faded memory
Should've known better
Now I'm a prisoner to this pain
And my heart still aches for you

There was no risk that I wouldn't take
And not a promise that I didn't make
All I asked was that you just hold on
And now I'm wondering what I did wrong

Chorus

I gave you all of my body and soul
Never believing we might lose control
I took my hands off the wheel

I can't remember if the lies were true
It's been a million years since I touched you
I thought time might help me win this game
But being away from you is slowly driving me insane

Richard Marx

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